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Post by Avelon on Jul 8, 2006 22:04:47 GMT -5
Drop Dead Gorgeous is a hair salon/assassination office. While the nimble fingers of Avelon masterfully style your hair, you can discuss business of another nature entirely - for he is also a skilled assassin and for the right price, anyone you know can be put to the shears.
Price List for Hair salon: Shampoo with Avelon's secret brew - £15 Shampoo and conditioner with Avelon's secret brew - £25 Hair cut - £5 Hair cut without decapitation - £10 Hair style - £10-30 depending on complexity and Avelon's mood
Assassinations: 5-star forum user - £250 4-star forum user - £200 3-star forum user - £150 2-star forum user - £100 1-star forum user - £50 Administrator - £1,000 Gmod - £500 Mod - £300
GRAND OPENING LIMITED TIME OFFER: Half-price Assassinations!* For 48 hours (Until 11 PM EST/Monday), scheduling an appointment for a hair style and shampoo & conditioning gives you 50% off your first hit! Come on in, get your hair done, and then have an enemy decapitated at half price!
NOW HIRING: Two positions currently open - Hair Stylist and The Backup Man (yes, the job title is 'The Backup Man'; gender indiscriminate). Applications should be sent to Avelon by way of private message.
*All assassination prices are cut in half. Zade-class hits will actually have a negative price, meaning that Avelon will pay YOU to kill Zade; a sum of £30. This offer in particular is one-time ONLY. First come, first serve.
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Post by Zade on Jul 8, 2006 22:11:58 GMT -5
...can I pay to make sure I don't die?
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Post by Avelon on Jul 8, 2006 22:34:35 GMT -5
My friend, I am extortion. However, you'll have to wait until the grand opening is over. You could always take the deal yourself and die with a sexy haircut. You'd have angels crawling all over you in the afterlife.
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Post by Zade on Jul 8, 2006 22:38:59 GMT -5
Well...can I pay you to just hide me for awhile? So...you know...I don't die and you don't have to pay somebody a sum of money?
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Post by Avelon on Jul 8, 2006 22:42:06 GMT -5
Hold on, I just did the math and I'd still profit even if it was a cheapass hairstyle. 10 + 25 = 35, meaning I'd make £5 at a minimum. =D But yes, you can pay me £50 and I will hide you in a place that nobody will be able to find you, the location of which only I am aware.
Sound good?
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Post by Zade on Jul 8, 2006 22:43:04 GMT -5
Yes, it does. Take the money, hide me, and tell me when I can get a full no-death pass.
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Post by Avelon on Jul 8, 2006 22:50:18 GMT -5
Avelon takes the proffered £50 note and leads Zade off to a secret passage in a secret location leading to a secret room with a secret purpose and a secretive, yet stylish sofa.
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Post by Jest on Jul 9, 2006 11:46:52 GMT -5
I think I saw this in a broadway play once...but with more throat slitting...
--- Avelon: I thought this was all supposed to be vaguely in-character, Jest? Jest: It is, I walked in and said it reminded me of a broadway play. Or something. now I'm saying this. XD
My bad. I condensed the posts to preserve the spirit without losing the info. - Ave ---
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Post by Avelon on Jul 9, 2006 23:02:52 GMT -5
Come in, come in. Sit down in this chair or I'll kill you. Ahh, welcome! My first customer! Avelon fluffs at Jest's hair a moment, then prods around his neck. You could do with a little bit off the top. Say, did you see the sign outside? Afraid nobody claimed the grand opening special. Tell you what - since you're my first customer, I'll just go ahead and give it to you! How about that? Hair style, shampoo, conditioner...and one of your enemies dead.
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Post by Jest on Jul 10, 2006 16:53:53 GMT -5
Could you make it a little shorter on the top, and maybe feathered a bit? *flips through a magazine that's lying around*
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Post by Avelon on Jul 10, 2006 16:55:46 GMT -5
But of course. Tar? Tar will help the feathers stick.
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Post by Jest on Jul 10, 2006 16:58:50 GMT -5
Do you have Pantenes latest Tar? for Smooth and Silky hair?
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Post by Avelon on Jul 10, 2006 17:11:43 GMT -5
But of course! Pantene Pro-V or E-enriched? Avelon draws a sadistic looking dagger from a pocket (hidden sheath?) and combs through Jest's hair with the fingers of his free hand, apparently deciding where to begin.
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Post by Jest on Jul 10, 2006 17:13:43 GMT -5
Pantene Pro-V please, and make it snappy, I have a meeting in an hour.
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Post by Avelon on Jul 10, 2006 17:20:23 GMT -5
Right-o. I would advise you not look at any mirrors for the next few minutes. Avelon rapidly lifts up the hair atop Jest's head by its tips, and slashes the dagger between his hand and Jest's head, neatly trimming it to three quarters its length. Amazingly, he seems to actually be cutting the hair evenly.
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