Top Ten Things Final Fantasy Has Taught Me

[Avelon]

Listing backwards. Feel free to make your own lists for other genres. I just picked Final Fantasy for RPGs because I've put more time into various FF games than any other GENRE, I think.

So, here it is, starting at number 10:

10.) Whenever something sad happens around me, music to suit will start. When the sad moment has passed and it's time to decide what to do next, Kiss Me, Son of God* will probably start playing.
9.) If I ever forget what I'm supposed to do, I can ask random people and they'll give me hints. Should this tactic fail, I can always go back to whoever told me what I was supposed to do, and they'll repeat exactly what they said before with infinite patience, then heal me. Instantly.
8.) If I'm ever tired, I can close my eyes and listen to the five seconds of twinkly music, and then I won't be tired anymore. I'll also be fully healed.
7.) Carrying a sword that's as big as my body is O.K.
6.) Carrying 99 swords as big as my body is also O.K.
5.) I can wear my mismatched clothing over any armour and nobody will be able to tell. All types of head armour come with a wig that perfectly matches my hair.
4.) Running around in a circle pisses people off, and they will want to fight me to the death if I do it too much.
3.) She's a dancer.
2.) If the King gives me a quest to save the world, I should not expect any kind of support. I will have to buy my own weapons, armour, and spells, all of which you might see in the hands of a child, and I will have to provide my own troops if I want help going up against the legions of monsters overrunning the world.
1.) If I die, I will blink rapidly while everyone bows their heads, then disappear, probably leaving my power with someone else.

*Kiss Me, Son of God is more or less my themesong.

EDIT: I forgot the footnote.

[Soul-Divider]

Ok and you have the right to enter people's homes without permission, RPG world is a great comic illustrating this.
It points out every flaw in RPG games, ps. the hero is always naive to love. ('cept Squall...he was cool =P)

[Avelon]

He's all, "Back off, pregnant dog."
And Rinoa's like, she's like, "No."
And Squall says, he says, "...yes."
And she just says, "No."
So he's all, "Fine. But hands above the waist."
And she's like, "Aww."

[Gostie]

*Cough*www.project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html*Cough*

[Avelon]

Heh. That's pretty nice. It's missing several things, though.
Like the Ninth Law of Travel (Invisible Road Blocks rule): The first time you have to cross a pass, the ocean, a forest, or travel through a city, you will have to fight at least one boss battle and solve at least one puzzle. After that, you will either be given the means to travel through it instantly, or simply be able to walk through it on the world map.

Or the Altruistic Villain Rule: Any villain who calls forth an ancient evil power to gain control of the world will invariably A.) die, or B.) join the party. You will then be thrown across time and/or space by the sheer might of the evil power, but later in the game, it can do nothing to stop you and your party.

And the Curses, You Tricked Me Again rule: The hero, or a part of the hero's party that was separated from him, will always fall into a trap of some kind. After escaping and fighting at least one boss battle, the detached members will rejoin you and you will make your escape - but you'll fall into the same trap on the way out. The dungeon/castle will usually be self destructing at the time, but lucky for you, a townsperson you did a favor for earlier or a party member who reveals that they can fly will save you from certain doom. The count-down will miraculously disappear when this happens, even if it was on 1 second - and you'll escape just before the place explodes.

[Zeke]

Hey, Its true! All true! What a scary thought...